Pimp My Room
JON BUTLER, DREW EWING, ANDREA EBERS, ELLE HOGAN and ANNIE BOKEN
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Sage upperclassmen give you the tips and tricks to making sure you have everything for your dorm.
As freshmen arrive on campus, they are initiated into an elite culture unlike anything else--college life. The transition can be rough, but we humbly believe that a cool room attracts cool people. What follows is the accumulated wisdom of seasoned dorm veterans... use wisely!
Posters
Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "I'm a college man now, and my room needs to have a bar atmosphere." Cease now, before it's too late. Buy a beer poster if you must, neons are even better, but stop there. Ditto for any plans of using centerfolds as wallpaper. While these will undoubtedly reap manly grunts of approval from the PlayStation-and-Natural-Light crowd, the fairer sex frowns upon gratuitous displays of booze and boobs. You're thinking "bar" or "party;" she's thinking "alcoholic" or "potential sex offender."
The intellectual route is equally risky. Artsy prints express a level of sophistication and culture that chicks totally dig. Preparation is required, however, to ensure that you actually know what you're displaying. Above all, pronounce the artist's name correctly because the only "ass" in Degas will be you unless you've done your homework.
Emphasize your hobbies and interests, however eclectic they may be. A wide assortment of posters is a resounding declaration of your identity. Just don't forget the adhesive strips--Residence Life fines the beejeezus out of students dumb enough to use nails or tacks.
Christmas Lights
There is one simple and essential fact that every college student should keep in mind when decorating his or her dorm room: This is the last time that it is okay to be both cheap and tacky.
That being said, no dorm room is complete without the ambiance created by your average string of Christmas lights. It's easy to go overboard with these, however, and while Santa's Workshop belongs at the department store in December, that jolly old elf definitely had the right idea with a string of small, white outdoor lights that are perfect on the perimeter of the ceiling. Icicle lights in the window are a safe way to build upon this theme, especially if you are able to find some in color; these have the added function of enabling others to easily differentiate your room from the other windows in the grid.
Neon Martini Light
Another option for lighting that almost crosses the line into alcohol-related paraphernalia is the neon martini light, the feminine version of the light-up Budweiser sign. Target consistently carries a blue one for about $20, but keep your eyes open and you're bound to find one in a variety of places. If you're searching for cinematic inspiration for dorm room d�cor, look no further than Elle Woods' bedroom at the Delta Nu sorority house in Legally Blonde, where we spied a pink neon margarita-shaped light across the room from that jerk Warner's picture.
Furniture
Once the bare essentials are in, acquiring the perfect furniture is the next priority. Why would students want to hang out in a dorm room if they have to stand the whole time? Even in the small rooms of Marguerite Hall and the Griesedieck complex, this problem can be solved easily and cheaply by visiting to the local thrift stores. This is where living in not-the-nicest area of the St. Louis comes in handy.
There are three secondhand stores within walking distance on Forest Park Parkway, where inexpensive furniture abounds. Obviously, couches are probably only going to fit in the Reinert Hall dorm rooms, but a great recliner can fit inside any dorm room. Recliners run around $20 to $30, while couches can run closer to $50, depending on availability and condition. This might seem expensive, but the investment is very much worthwhile. Going into my senior year, I still have the same used recliner I got at Salvation Army my freshman year for $10.
Go to these places the first weekend, before the places have been picked over by every other student. Aside from a big piece of furniture, having a couple fold-out lawn chairs is always helpful in a pinch. Don't make people sit on the beds: it is universally agreed that this a major pain in the neck, both figuratively and literally.
Folding Planet Chair
One of the most difficult items to find for a dorm room is a comfortable chair that won't take up too much space or wind up with stains all over it--everything in a dorm room takes a beating, especially if people sit on it. The best bet is the folding planet chair from Linens N' Things, which will set you back about $35. It folds up easily if it's getting in the way, the circular design is as chic as the college student's budget can afford and black is the kindest color for fabric; but, if you have three reasons that you can't live without something, you have two more than you really need. A similar item is Target's corduroy sphere chair, about $50, which comes in three colors.
Video Games
In ancient times, a collegian's leisure was divided among political involvement, broadening literary horizons and listening to far out music. But who needs that when the gods have blessed us with "Grand Theft Auto"? Video Games are the bedrock of manly interaction, a rare activity in which two hours of total silence forges a deep bond between complete strangers.
Your options are threefold: Xbox, PlayStation 2 and GameCube. The PS2 has a robust selection of exclusive titles designed for the solitary experience, but a lack of four-player games compromises its social enjoyment. Microsoft's Xbox ... in a word, "Halo." This sci-fi shooter is chockfull of guns and glory, ensuring hours of late-night amusement.
Nintendo's GameCube is a multiplayer machine. Games such as "Super Smash Bros. Melee" and "Mario Kart Double Dash!!" were engineered for parties. Ironically, the cartoony mascots within are capable of eliciting vulgarities from players that would make Howard Stern blush. Priced at a mere $149, the 'Cube is a must-have.
Your film library begins at "Animal House" and ends at "Old School," no questions asked. These films comprise the Old and New Testaments of college life--should you fail to own and memorize them, even the engineering students will laugh at you. Undergrad Billikens are movie maniacs, so bring as many DVDs as you can afford, regardless of their niche appeal. Everybody wants to say they saw the next buzz worthy film "before it was cool," making you even cooler by association for supplying it.
Comedies offer the most bang for your buck. A film such as "There's Something About Mary" offers lowbrow laughs galore with male friends, while supplying enough kitschy romance to satisfy the ladies. Of course, you'll need guy-friendly fare such as "The Big Lebowski," but don't forget to keep a stash of chick flicks. If you own at least one movie starring Hugh Grant, your odds of convincing a lady Billiken that she's actually heading back to your room to "watch a movie" will increase astronomically.
Community Shower Survival Kit
When selecting items to bring for your new community shower experience, be sure to purchase items that are comfortable and convenient. Your shower pack should include a comfortable robe that ideally comes down past the knees, an oversized towel, as well as a very reliable shower caddy that is able to hold your shampoo, body wash, razor, etc. Also essential to every shower pack is a cheap, comfortable and fun pair of shower sandals.
Wall of fame
Remember that hot soccer player that looked your way as you walked to English 190? Or the drop-dead-gorgeous, blond cheerleader who flashed her flawless pearly whites while you attempted to bench-press 30 pounds? These individuals will undoubtedly be fixtures in your mind, so why not display them in your bedroom? Don't be timid and hesitate for fear that your roommate may raise his/her eyebrows, or your parents will ask about your questionable stalking habits, look forward to the opportunity to tell them, and many others, about your"bragging moment."
Your latest crushes shouldn't stand alone amidst the collage. Feel free to include pictures of yourself enjoying the unforgettable college moments including fraternity
mixers, dances and trips to Humphrey's! Sure, it's embarrassing when the bouncer at Laclede's confiscates your fake ID, but at least you had the courage to try out this five-year expired document. Pose in front of the bar's sign, have a friend snap a shot and celebrate your audacity!
Yaffa Blocks
It's easy to get carried away when shopping for accessories to decorate the dorm room, but despite the excitement, make sure that Yaffa blocks aren't forgotten. These versatile storage units store clothing, televisions and shoes, use a minimal amount of space and are available in various eye-catching colors.
Memo Board
It is essential to come to school equipped with all of your favorite photographs: If homesickness sets in, a familiar set of smiling faces is the best cure. One thing that dorm rooms are always short on is horizontal surfaces, so don't go thinking that there will be room on the bookshelf for all of those picture frames. Memo boards with ribbons running across them to slip pictures, notes and ticket stubs through are more than just space savers: They're functional and distinctive, easy to add to throughout the year, and a great way to cover the stark whiteness of the walls with minimal effort. These are easy to find at any home store and usually go for about $15.